About counselling

Yo!
I wrote a post for the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog but thought I'd share it here too, both for any young women with breast cancer who read my blog, and also for everyone else who finds themselves here because you know what, you've all got shit to deal with and you would probably all benefit from some counselling. It's ace! Do it!

Much love
xx

PS - the things I say about people offering solutions, platitudes etc - I'm guilty of all that. This is about how a counsellor doesn't do what all of the rest of us do in normal conversation. MUCH LOVE!! XX



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Hi!
 
This is Sarah - the one who set this blog up! I've decided to write a post myself, about counselling....
 
I remember the first time I mentioned in a blog post that I was going to counselling. I wasn't completely sure I wanted to share this information as I was a bit embarrassed. I would never, ever think this about anyone else, but when it came to myself, it felt like admitting I was going to counselling was admitting failure, or that I am weak, or damaged. (There are moments I can still feel like that - but not because I really believe it. It's because there is still so much stigma about mental health in our society.) But I shared it anyway, and have continued to share it whenever it's relevant. It's an important part of what's been going on in my life over the last year.
 
I first went to counselling at my local cancer support charity because my mom had died from breast cancer, and I had been referred for genetic testing because of family history of breast and ovarian cancer in my family. I was considered "high risk". It was all a lot to get my head round. My genetic test result came back as negative - ie, there were no faults in my BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes which were the two that were most likely to be to blame for a family history of cancer such as mine. A couple of months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer myself anyway at age 33. As you might guess, I kept up the counselling sessions.
 
As I said, I often mention counselling in my blog posts, and I also often mention it in discussions in the Younger Breast Cancer Network UK forum. As a result, people regularly ask me questions about counselling, and I thought it might be helpful to write all about it here. I'm structuring the post as a kind of Q and A and I'm writing it with other young women with breast cancer in mind. If there are questions I haven't answered, please ask away and I'll add to this. (You can post a comment on here, email ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk or tweet @youngbcblog.)
 
What type of counsellor do I have?
Not normally the first question people ask me! But I think an important question to answer first here. There are lots of different approaches to counselling. For example:

• CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This looks at the way you think and behave, helping you to understand how the way you think affects the way you behave, and vice versa, and then identify ways of making changes that will help you. It looks for practical solutions to problems, and you get set "homework"! You can read more here.
• Psychoanalytical and psychodynamic therapies. These approaches are based on an individual's unconscious thoughts and perceptions that have developed throughout their childhood, and how these affect their current behaviour and thoughts. (Think Freud.) You can read more here.
• Humanistic therapies. These focus on self-development, growth and responsibilities. They seek to help individuals recognise their strengths, creativity and choice in the here and now. You can read more here.

The type of counsellor I have is a person-centred counsellor - this falls in to the category of humanistic therapies. I landed a person-centred counsellor by chance. I didn't even realise until my first session that there were different kinds. Me being me (nosey, always want to know what's going on) I promptly went away and read all about it and I was very chuffed I got a person-centred counsellor! The thinking behind the approach sat really well with me and felt right for my situation. In a nutshell, a person-centred approach to counselling is a non-directive approach. The counsellor is not there as an expert - this is about me, and I am the expert on me. The counsellor doesn't dictate what is discussed, that is up to me, I lead the conversation. The counsellor is not there to advise me or tell me what to do - I know best. Sometimes it might take me a little while to work it out, but that's what the counselling helps with. It helps me work through what's going on in my head, how I feel, and what is right for me. I'll explain a little more about how in some of the answers below. (And if you're interested in the person-centred approach I recommend reading Carl Roger's book "On becoming a person".)
 
What is counselling like?/ What happens at counselling?
You talk and the counsellor listens! It took me a little while to get into it - I'd never been before so I didn't know how to "do" counselling. I felt awkward talking about myself - it felt self-indulgent and a bit rude. I'd always ask the counsellor how he was at the start of the session - it felt rude not to! I also wanted advice and answers. I'd repeatedly ask him what he thought (still do actually!). I wouldn't know how to talk - even if I had loads on my mind, I didn't know how or where to begin. But it comes more naturally once you get used to it.
I thought counselling was talking and sounding off. But actually it's very different to normal talking and sounding off. I do a lot of both to my friends (and anyone who'll listen really!) but I don't always feel better for it. The difference in counselling is the part the other person - the counsellor - plays in the conversation. I don't get advice and solutions, I don't get platitudes. I'm not being judged. I talk, and what the counsellor does is listen to me very carefully, and at times, make observations, or ask questions. It might not sound like much but these things make for incredibly helpful conversations. More on why below.

How and why does counselling help?
You can say whatever you want without risk of offending or upsetting anyone. This in itself can be really helpful at times. A massive rant, where you can name names and be as blunt and unfair as you want about everything and everyone - and no repercussions!

You don't get offered advice and solutions. People in your life who care about you tend to do this at every opportunity whether you ask for it or not. There are times you need advice and solutions, but there are also times you don't. Sometimes you just need to talk, and be heard and understood and sometimes you need to talk because just talking things through helps you to process and understand things and reach conclusions and decisions yourself. At these times, the last thing you need is someone else's advice and suggested solutions! They tend to be based on the other person's experience and personal baggage and so can leave you feeling fed up, frustrated and as if you haven't been heard. You were talking about you and your situation! You didn't ask for their advice based on their situation which they now want to tell you all about! Shut up! Well, at counselling, you don't get advice and solutions, the counsellor never talks about themself - and it's wonderful!

You don't get offered platitudes. Doesn't matter what you say at counselling, you won't get a platitude. That too, is wonderful. Platitudes are what people throw back at you when there's no advice or solution. For example: 
You: "I'm so upset, I have cancer and I might be dead by the end of the year."
Other person: "You aren't going to die, I just know you're going to be fine. Besides - we could all die at any time. I could go out and get hit by a car tomorrow!"
A couple things to say about this. First of all, I have lost count of the number of people who have told me they might get hit by a car, or bus. Apparently this is on everyone's mind, and the way most people think they are most likely to die? Oh please! Look, listen, look again when you cross the street, and stop telling me you might get hit by a car!
Secondly, they don't mean to do this, but the person has basically told you to change the topic, because, as there is no solution to your problem, they don't know what to say, so now the conversation makes them feel uncomfortable and they want it to stop. This is why platitudes are so annoying - they are meaningless and they shut you up.
At counselling, the response to you saying "I'm so upset, I have cancer and I might be dead by the end of the year" won't be a platitude that shuts you up. It'll be either quiet, to allow you to continue talking, or if you don't know what to say next, it'll be a question or observation that enables you to continue, if it's something you need to talk about.

The counsellor is very good at listening. VERY GOOD! And as a result what they can do is make observations that help you to move forward in your thinking, consider other perspectives, understand what things mean for you and so on. They can seem like really subtle points, but some of the things that a counsellor says can make a profound difference to the way you think and feel. They're the kind of observations and questions you don't get elsewhere.
As an example, after my mom died I was carrying a lot of guilt around with me for not knowing how ill she was. She'd kept a lot from me. It was over a year after her death and the guilt was playing on my mind every day. I told the whole story of her cancer, from diagnosis to death, and the year since her death, in great detail over a number of sessions. The counsellor barely got a word in, but those he did were so helpful. I remember him pointing out I say "should" a lot. For example, I should have known how ill she was, I should have done this or that differently, I should feel this way or that. He would ask, "Why should you?"
Another result of the counsellor being so good at listening, is they can ask you some very thought provoking (sometimes quite provocative) questions. For example, my counsellor asked me "Can you make someone tell you the truth?"
These things might not seem like much, the little observations, the questions like that - but actually they are incredibly powerful and effective in helping you to process thoughts, see things from different perspectives, and ultimately deal with things and move forward. I'd been tormented by guilt for over a year after my mom died - in a matter of weeks of counselling, it had gone.

And all of this is happening in a safe place -you aren't being judged, and nothing changes in the outside world. There are no repercussions. No-one else will ever know what you've said (unless you decide to tell them.)

Should I go to counselling if I don't know what to talk about?
Yes! I didn't know where to begin. It's ok because the counsellor is there to help you to talk. They're used to people turning up and not knowing where to begin or what to say. I started just by telling my story, in great detail, from start to finish. It was the counsellor's questions and observations that helped open the conversation up. I'm used to counselling now so I generally arrive and launch straight in to what's on my mind and my own observations about it and he adds in his own along with questions. It's brilliant.

Who goes to counselling?
More people than you realise, and people you really wouldn't expect are going to counselling! Think of the most together person you know. Chances are, they've been to counselling. When I first started, I admitted it to a friend. She told me she'd been to counselling before. I couldn't believe it. I then admitted it to another friend. She had started counselling recently. Over time I discovered that lots of people I know (not including the ones who have been diagnosed with breast cancer!) have been to counselling or been on anti-depressants at some point in their life. It's more "normal" than you'd think - it's just that most people don't talk about it.

Is counselling just an American thing?
Nope! Just seems that in the USA people are much more open about it. Counselling or therapy isn't seen so much as something "crazy people" do. It's something anyone might do, because we are all people, we all have emotions including the bad ones, life can be horrible, and counselling helps.

Will it open up the floodgates?
If you have floodgates that need opening then it might! In my experience it hasn't. The only time I cried at counselling - and it wasn't full on crying, it was more red/watery eyes and a wobbly chin - was when my beautiful dog was diagnosed with cancer. That was the final straw at that point! Other than that though, there haven't been tears. Just me unpicking everything that's going on in my head.

Where do you go for counselling and how much does it cost?
There are a number of options. If you're a young woman with breast cancer in the UK, then chances are, not too far from you, there is a cancer support charity. Some areas of the UK have places called Maggie's Centres. Some have places called The Haven which are specifically providing support for people with breast cancer. Others, like where I live, might have individual local support charities and centres (the one near me is called Coping with Cancer in Leicestershire and Rutland.) If you can't immediately find a centre near you, Macmillan should be able to advise.
My personal advice would be to seek counselling via a cancer support charity in the first instance as their counsellors should be experienced in supporting people with cancer. But there are other ways of accessing counselling, for example via your GP, and sometimes through work. (If you have private healthcare cover, counselling may also be covered as part of this.)
Generally accessing counselling through these routes should be free of charge.

You can of course also look in to paying for counselling sessions. If this is something you want to explore then these websites might be of use:

BACP
Counselling Directory 
 
Any other questions I might be able to answer?
If there are questions I haven't answered, please ask away and I'll add to this. You can post a comment on here, email ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk or tweet @youngbcblog.

What are your experiences of counselling?
If you are a young woman in the UK and have had counselling to help with dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, life after cancer etc and want to share your experience on this blog (you can do so completely anonymously) then that would be wonderful! Please get in touch at ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk.

Angelina Jolie's ovaries and me

Two years ago Angelina Jolie told the world about her medical choice to have a preventive double mastectomy. She has a fault in her BRCA1 gene. Put simply, BRCA1 is one of the genes responsible for stopping cancerous tumours from growing in breast tissue. A fault in the gene means it doesn't do that job properly - this put Angelina at an 87% risk of developing breast cancer. Having the double mastectomy reduced this risk to 5%.

Angelina's faulty BRCA1 gene also put her at a 50% risk of developing ovarian cancer. Today she has shared with the world, in her article Diary of a Surgery, that she has now had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed in order to reduce (almost entirely eliminate) this cancer risk.

What Angelina has written in Diary of a Surgery has shaken me up.

I have a faulty PALB2 gene. In the same way that Angelina's faulty BRCA1 gene put her at high risk of breast and ovarian cancer, my faulty PALB2 gene puts me at high risk of breast and ovarian cancer. Of course, I've now had breast cancer, so that risk has already become a reality! My medical team are doing all they can to reduce the risk of that same cancer coming back - that's why I've had 6 cycles of chemotherapy, a mastectomy, and (I'm about to start) 3 weeks of radiotherapy. As well as reducing the risk of the cancer I already had coming back, the mastectomy reduces the risk of a new cancer in that breast. I am having the other breast removed to further reduce my risk of a brand new breast cancer as soon as my body is healed from radiotherapy.

Having a double mastectomy was not a difficult decision for me to make. In all honesty, it's possibly the easiest and quickest decision I've ever made in my life. 

Simple as that. I don't want to die, and my breasts were going to kill me. Good riddance. (Besides, reconstructive surgery means they are still kind of there - albeit minus a nipple and with a couple of scars.)

The ovaries on the other hand have been a very different matter, for two reasons; one is about health, and one is about children. Having your ovaries removed puts you instantly in the menopause - this means amongst other things that you can't have children, and that you are at an increased risk of osteoporosis and heart disease.

I've done a lot of thinking about these three things and I've had a lot of arguments about these three things. These are my personal views:

Heart disease: I'm not too worried. While the family I had has been obliterated by breast and ovarian cancer, hearts have always been healthy. Big, strong, healthy hearts (it's all the love, man!) I don't smoke, I do exercise, I can look after my heart ok.

Osteoporosis: I am worried about this. There's less I can do to prevent it, and from what my doctors have told me, it's more of a risk. If I do live for a few more decades, I'll have to be really bloody careful not to trip over my own feet and continually walk in to things the way I do now (Twice in one day last week I walked in to a door - forehead and hip. Clumsy idiot!) The sooner I have my ovaries removed, the more the risk of osteoporosis later in life increases, so there's an argument here for holding on to them as long as possible.

Children: This is the trickiest one. Some of my medical team seem pretty obsessed with me keeping my ovaries so that I have the option to have children in a few years time. I disagree. I don't think I should have children. First of all, if I get pregnant and there are any of my original cancer cells left in my body, it will be asking for trouble in the same way that waving a blowtorch round in a petrol station is asking for trouble. Secondly, there would be a 50% chance of the child inheriting the faulty copy of the PALB2 gene and facing a high risk of cancer later in their life - particularly if I had a girl. If in a few years I am still alive and kicking, and I'm in a relationship, then I'd love to consider the possibility of adoption. But right now, I'm single and I'm still undergoing treatment for breast cancer and so I guess staying alive has been my immediate concern. But the combination of hassle from others about keeping my options open about having children, and my concern around risk of osteoporosis meant that when I was discussing my ovaries with my oncologist registrar a couple of weeks ago, I said I'd keep hold of them for now. Everyone tells me the chances are I won't get ovarian cancer in the next five years.

Then I read Angelina's Diary of a Surgery article today, and as I said, it's shaken me up.

"...two weeks ago I got a call from my doctor with blood-test results... “There are a number of inflammatory markers that are elevated, and taken together they could be a sign of early cancer.” I took a pause. “[the blood test] has a 50 to 75 percent chance of missing ovarian cancer at early stages,” he said. He wanted me to see the surgeon immediately to check my ovaries.

I went through what I imagine thousands of other women have felt. I told myself to stay calm, to be strong, and that I had no reason to think I wouldn’t live to see my children grow up and to meet my grandchildren. 

I called my husband in France, who was on a plane within hours. The beautiful thing about such moments in life is that there is so much clarity. You know what you live for and what matters. It is polarizing, and it is peaceful.

That same day I went to see the surgeon, who had treated my mother. I last saw her the day my mother passed away, and she teared up when she saw me: “You look just like her.” I broke down. But we smiled at each other and agreed we were there to deal with any problem, so “let’s get on with it.”

Nothing in the examination or ultrasound was concerning. I was relieved that if it was cancer, it was most likely in the early stages. If it was somewhere else in my body, I would know in five days. I passed those five days in a haze..."

Angelina goes on to describe how the PET scan was clear meaning that while early stage cancer was still possible, at least it wasn't a full-blown tumour. She then had surgery to remove her ovaries and fallopian tubes. During surgery a benign tumour was found, and luckily that was all.

Reading all this took me back to my own diagnosis, and to the emotions you get when you are waiting for test and scan results. When I say emotions... I mean fear. You know that you are high risk, and those test and scan results are going to mean the difference between living and dying.

I tell people all the time to listen to their gut feeling when it comes to their own bodies. I've been right about mine enough times. And Angelina's article today has prompted me to pull my head out of the sand I buried it in in order to get some peace from everything "cancer" and the opinions of everyone else about whether or not I should have my own children, and go back to the oncologist and demand my ovaries be chopped out as soon as possible. The left one in particular, I don't trust it. It's been a troublemaker in the past.

I don't want osteoporosis, but more than that I don't want to die from ovarian cancer.

I do want children, but I don't want to get pregnant and risk my life.

Like Angelina, I want my ovaries out.

Dents and dimples

It's simple: the earlier breast cancer is detected the more chance there is of getting rid of it and being able to go on to live a full and healthy life. That's why it's important to be aware of all the signs: it's not just about checking for lumps. I've written previously about nipples. (If you haven't read that post, please read it after you've read this.) This post is about dents and dimples.

Here is a really helpful summary of breast cancer symptoms to look out for taken from the Breakthrough Breast Cancer website.

Touch

• Can you feel a lump? Either in the breast, upper chest or armpits.
• Is there a lumpy area? Or unusual thickening of the breast tissue that doesn’t go away?
• Is there any unusual pain? Either in part of the breast or the armpit.

Look

• Any change in size or shape? For example, one breast might become larger or lower than the other.
• Any change in skin texture? Such as puckering or dimpling of the skin of the breast.
• Any change in colour? For example the breast may look red or inflamed.
• What about the appearance or direction of the nipple? For example, one might become inverted (turned in) when it normally points out.
• Any unusual discharge? One or both nipples might have a discharge.
• Any rash or crusting? Of the nipple or surrounding area.

Check

• Is anything unusual? If so, get it checked out by your doctor as soon as possible.

The last point is a really important one. Is anything unusual? If so, get it checked. Guidance about breast cancer signs and symptoms is always inevitably broad - it's trying to demonstrate that there is a wide range of symptoms that are relevant - not just lumps. This kind of guidance is not giving you an exact list of things to look for and excluding everything else. It is very important to know your own body and get any changes checked out as soon as you notice them.

To illustrate this, one of my friends, another young woman with breast cancer, wants to share the story of the first sign of her breast cancer. Using the categories above, it would sort of fit under "skin texture" but as you'll see, it was more than dimpling or puckering...

"About two weeks before I accidentally found my lump in the shower, I had noticed a line. It ran from directly under the centre of my nipple then in a kind of hooked shape up to my armpit. I'd noticed it but thought that it was caused by my bra.

The day I found my lump it came as a bolt out of the blue. I was having a shower and I thank the soapy suds for finding the lump. (I would urge every woman to have a feel in soapy suds as you can feel so much more.) 

I went to the doctor the very next day. She was kind and reassuring and said it's probably just a fibroadenoma (a non-cancerous condition) but then she spotted the line and asked about it. She made me move in different ways. Some positions made it worse, but it was always there. The tone of the room changed and she referred me for an urgent ultrasound scan. My appointment came through for two weeks later. I had an ultrasound and biopsy.

Between the GP appointment and the ultrasound scan I also developed a thrombosed vein (which was also picked up on ultrasound). It ran from the lump (upper left quadrant of my left breast) and across the top of my nipple. I now know this was my tumour cutting off the blood supply and creating its own, the little fucker! The thrombosed vein felt like a hard line under the skin. It was about 1.5 - 2 inches long and was quite painful. The lump itself felt pear shaped and lumpy - it wasn't round or pea shaped or smooth. I was diagnosed around ten days later with a 17mm invasive ductal carcinoma (tumour). It was that tumour that had made the skin pull inwards in that big line."

WOMEN! Please, get to know your own body, and if you notice any changes, go to your GP. It's a scary thing to think about and a scary thing to do, but if you have breast cancer, the sooner it is diagnosed the better.



 

 

Do one thing for World Cancer Day, 4th February 2015

Friends, colleagues, random strangers on the internet....!

Today, 4th February, is World Cancer Day. I think it would be lovely if everyone who reads this does one thing support it. These are a few suggestions from me....

Spread the word about nipples!
Share the link to my blog post about nipples! My breast cancer was diagnosed not because I felt a lump, but because I had a slightly wonky nipple. Most people are aware that breast lumps can be a sign of breast cancer, but not everyone knows there are other signs like wonky nipples too. This is the link - you could share it on Facebook, or Twitter, or email it round. http://hbocuninformed.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/nipples-nipples-nipples-nipples-nipples.html 

Call or text someone you know with cancer/who has had cancer
It can make you feel so happy when people get in touch. And it can make you feel so sad when people don't. If you know someone with cancer or who has recently had cancer, drop them a line. If you don't know what to say, don't worry. You'd be amazed how much it means just to get messages that say something like "Hi, was thinking of you, hope you're well?"

Support an amazing little charity called Coping with Cancer
If you live in Leicestershire, you could consider making a small donation to the wonderful local charity Coping with Cancer. You can do this by texting CWCA12 followed by the amount you would like to donate (£1, £2, £3, £4, £5 or £10) to 70070. For example, to donate £3 text CWCA12 £3 to 70070.
If you live elsewhere you could find out about a cancer charity that is local to you and donate to them. Or donate to one of the bigger cancer charities, obviously.

Tell people about the Younger Breast Cancer Network (UK)
This is a support group for women in the UK under the age of 45 who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. The Facebook page is here: https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork - share the link! Someone you know might know a young woman with breast cancer who would benefit from knowing about and joining the group. Spread the word!

(This is Diane, a friend I met through YBCN, who blogs at A Little Earthquake)

Make a commitment to raise some money for cancer research or support
Is it a while since you did a sponsored something? Maybe you could do something this year and raise some money for a cancer research or support charity. Make that commitment today - sign up for an event, set up your fundraising page and share the link with your friends and family.

Write to your MP to demand a fair price for life-extending breast cancer drugs
Drugs exist that mean women with secondary breast cancer can live longer (hopefully long enough for more and better treatments to be trialled and become available). Women like my friends Rosie and Jojo. Unfortunately these drugs aren’t available to everyone who needs them because they’re too expensive for the NHS. Breakthrough Breast Cancer are calling for fairer access to these drugs. The UK Government can help fix the problem by demanding a fair price from pharmaceutical companies and creating a system of access and approval that will ensure cancer patients get the drugs they need at prices the NHS can afford.
You can find out how to write to your MP about this on the Breakthrough Breast Cancer website here: http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/demandafairprice/

(This is my friend Jojo who has secondary breast cancer and blogs at The Malignant Ginger)

Those are my suggestions! You might have other ideas. But please do something on World Cancer Day 2015. Together #WeWillUnite and beat cancer.

 

Nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples

Something the other day prompted me to ask my friends if I was blogging about nipples too much. But then this happened:

Another friend told me that they had shared my blog with their colleagues. One of them, who didn't know until they read my story that a wonky nipple could be a sign of breast cancer, has now gone to their GP with their own wonky nipple and has been referred for a scan to be on the safe side. As this is someone who has been pregnant, it's more likely to be caused by that than cancer - but you should always get things checked and I'm so glad they are.

So rather than worry that I have gone on about nipples too much, I now think I'd like to start a national "check your nipples" campaign.

Most people know that a lump can be a sign of breast cancer. (Having said that, if you find a lump, don't panic because 9 out of 10 breast lumps are not cancer). But there are other signs of breast cancer that you should be looking out for, lump or no lump.

A reminder of my own situation: there was a slight dent to the side of my nipple, which was making it lean slightly. It was really subtle. I spent a lot of time looking, poking and prodding but I couldn't feel anything suspicious and so I wasn't sure if it was anything or not. But as it wasn't something I'd noticed before, I got it checked out. Sure enough, there's a cancerous tumour underneath it, pulling on the skin, causing the wonk. Myself, my GP, my surgeon and I've lost count of how many nurses have poked, prodded, squeezed and rubbed - and no-one can feel the lump. But it's there. The wonky nipple was the sign.

So I know from first hand experience that it is important to be aware of the signs of  breast cancer other than breast lumps, and nipple changes is one of them. I think it would be great if everyone who read this went away and spent some time getting to know their nipples (ha!) and then checked regularly and looked out for changes. Then if there are changes – get them examined by your GP.

Things to look out for include nipples:

• becoming inverted (turned in) when they weren't previously
• changing shape
• changing position
• developing a rash
• crusting
• producing discharge.

All of these can be caused by things other than cancer, but you should always, always get them checked out immediately.

Don’t assume that if you’re young you’re ok for now. Unfortunately my situation is not as uncommon as people would like to think. I know because I’ve already made friends with a lot of local women, the same age as me, who are going through the same thing right now. (We went to the same university, at the same time! We get together and talk about cancer, and chemo, and Reagans and Mega. It's bizarre.) Check yer nipples kids.

And don’t assume that if you’re a bloke you’re ok. It’s less common for men but around 400 men are diagnosed with breast cancer in the UK each year. Check yer nipples lads.  

And there are other signs too. You can read more about different signs of breast cancer here.