Sometime very shortly after diagnosis I was out and talking to two people I work with who have been going through some major, major shit too. They have a motto: Fake it til you make it.
Life throws a lot of shit at you. Well, it really is throwing a lot of shit at me lately anyway. You can't stop that from happening but you can choose how you respond to it. My go-to response is to be positive and optimistic and I've spent a lot of time genuinely feeling that way. There's nothing I'm writing in my posts about being thankful that isn't true. I have a lot to be happy and thankful for, and in many ways I am really, really lucky.
But there are points when the shit gets too much and any genuine positivity or happiness gets beaten right down. I don't think you can stop that from happening either, but again you can choose how you respond to it. Wallow in it, or pretend everything is ok and keep your fingers crossed that at some point it will actually be ok again. Fake it til you make it. That's what I'm going to have to do, because right now if I allowed myself to even begin to wallow, even just for a moment, I'm not sure how I'd pull myself back out of it.
So I'm going to focus on the good, pretend away the bad, until it's all ok again. In the meantime, maybe people can please handle with care.