Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Still alive!

The moment I wrote that title I got the heebie jeebies! Tempting fate or what?!

Anyway, that last blog post appeared on my “on this day” thing on The Facebook and I realised I’d meant to do an update following on from that. So here it finally is a year later....

In a nutshell, I’m now 37 and I’m still alive! 🎉🎉🎉

The brain and bone scan malarkey was TRAUMA. The bone scan was first. On the day, a consultant reviewed the images, and saw “something” that made them require more detailed CT/bone scan images of my thorax. No-one would tell me what though and it took two weeks to get the results, during which time I went into full on meltdown... but as a plus side discovered a new drug to add to my collection. Diazepam! Good stuff. 

Turns out is was nothing sinister. I just have arthritis in my ribs. That’s not even a thing that happens but it’s basically what I have. I’m a weirdo but who cares. I can’t feel it and it’s not cancer. 

Head scan was also fine. I have a brain, and it looks normal. 

My oncologist discharged me because she said routine check ups were bad for my mental health, my GP gave me a ton of cocodamols for the pain, and I tried to go away and get on with things. 

Over the course of last year I established that menopause is not easy (understatement klaxon), in particular the fatigue, bone pain and hot flushes. I had an occupational health assessment in September. I turned up feeling like I was being a bother and wasting people’s time, but then after I rattled off my recent medical history the doctor’s response was along the lines of “Shit the bedddddd! It’s no wonder you feel like crap, lady.” and then he made a whole load of recommendations about adjustments to work and general life to give myself and my body a bit of a break. The doctor said I could be expect a rough time for another 2 or 3 years which initially horrified me but actually it turned out it’s been really helpful to just readjust my expectations. Instead of just trying to ignore everything and plough on, I’m taking things easy on myself and it makes a difference. I basically have earned thel right to be as lazy as I want. Also I added another new drug to my collection. Zoplicone! 🤤 Because sleep is everything. 

Since then I have discovered that switching brand of tamoxifen has massively reduced the bone pain. Fucking tamoxifen! So to anyone out there taking tamoxifen and suffering - try a different brand, see if it makes a difference for you. Also I can advise that while smaller pharmacies will tend to have only one brand in stock, big Boots pharmacies are more likely to have many different brands for this exact reason. Different brands suit different people. 

Anyway.... aside from all of that, and my current hangover, life is awesome right now. In 2 months time I’ll be in St Lucia on a holiday that’s been planned and saved up for since August 2016 at which time I genuinely didn’t know if I’d actually still be here in 2018! But I am and I’m on my way to the Caribbean and I’m doing rainforest zipwiring, and watching turtles hatch on the beach, and drinking cocktails at the pool bar! 😍🌴☀️🍹🐢

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